DEAR EVERY BOY THAT DIDN’T MAKE ME CUM

Rose Water Magazine

He’s breathing fast. I can almost feel the sweat dripping off his face. He pulls a strange expression and I think, This is it, almost there, maybe this time. Then it all stops. Silence. He falls back onto the bed, looks at me and says “How did I do baby? Did you cum?” I turn on my side, cigarette in hand and say “Yeah, you were great.” He walks away, and I sigh thinking, Another fake orgasm.

I used to think something was wrong with me when it came to sex. When I lost my virginity,  everything started to go downhill. “No one cums the first time,” a friend would tell me, and I would think, Right okay, that’s fair enough; I have plenty of time. A couple years later, and I’m still that fifteen year old girl, laying on the bed thinking, Is that it?

Orgasms to me, during…

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